In my first sales job, I cried in my car after a particularly brutal rejection.
The prospect hadn't just said no. He'd berated me for three minutes about wasting his time, called my product a scam, and hung up mid-sentence. I was 23. I sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes wondering if I was cut out for this.
I'm telling you this because I want to be clear: rejection affects everyone. The top rep at that company - a guy who made $400k that year - told me he still feels it sometimes.
The difference isn't whether it affects you. It's how quickly you recover.
Why Rejection Hits So Hard
Here's something that helped me: rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain. Studies using brain imaging show that the experience of being rejected and the experience of physical injury overlap significantly.
This isn't weakness. It's wiring.
When that prospect is rude or dismissive, your brain responds like you've been hurt. Because, neurologically, you have been.
Research from the American Psychological Association confirms this overlap between social and physical pain. Understanding the biology makes the experience feel less personal.
Knowing this is useful because it changes how you respond. You can't reason your way out of the pain. But you can learn to let the pain pass through faster.
What Actually Helps
1. The Reset Ritual
After a bad call, don't immediately dial the next number. Take 60-90 seconds to physically reset.
Stand up. Walk to get water. Do 10 pushups. Something physical.
Your nervous system is activated. The physical movement helps discharge that energy so you don't carry it into the next call. Sounds woo-woo, but it works.
2. The Numbers Game Reframe
Track your calls religiously. Connect rate, conversation rate, meeting rate.
When you see that you're getting rejected 85 out of 100 calls - just like every other rep - it stops feeling personal. It's just the job. The math.
A "bad day" isn't when you get rejected a lot. A bad day is when you don't make enough calls to get rejected a lot.
Maintaining consistency in your outreach is what makes this mindset possible. Consistency beats sporadic bursts of activity.
3. The "Not About Me" Mental Note
That prospect who was rude? They might have just:
- Left a stressful meeting
- Got bad news about a project
- Been the 10th cold call they received that hour
- Been dealing with something personal you know nothing about
Their reaction is about their day, not about you.
This is hard to believe in the moment. But remind yourself anyway. It's usually true.
4. The Learning Question
After the sting fades, ask: "Is there anything I could have done differently?"
Sometimes yes. Your opener was weak, your timing was off, you missed signals.
Sometimes no. They were just a bad fit or in a bad mood.
Extract what you can learn, discard the rest.
If your opener consistently triggers rejection, see building rapport quickly for alternatives that earn more conversations.
The Patterns I've Noticed
Over the years, I've noticed some patterns in how top performers handle rejection differently:
They don't personalise it
Average reps: "That guy was such a jerk. What's wrong with me that I keep getting these reactions?"
Top reps: "That guy was in a bad mood. Next."
They recover fast
Average reps: Bad call, then check email, then scroll LinkedIn, then maybe one more call before lunch
Top reps: Bad call, then 60 second reset, then dial
They don't vent excessively
Average reps: Tell the whole team about the mean prospect, rehash it multiple times
Top reps: Maybe mention it once, then move on
Venting feels good but keeps the rejection alive longer. The more you talk about it, the more real you make it.
If you find yourself avoiding the phone entirely because of past rejection, our guide on call reluctance and how to beat it addresses that specific challenge.
The Worst Things You Can Do
Taking a long break after rejection
This feels protective but it backfires. The longer you wait before your next call, the more the rejection grows in your mind. Get back on the phone while it's still fresh.
Fighting with the prospect
They're rude, so you get defensive or argue back. This never helps. Thank them, hang up, move on. You won't change their mind and you'll feel worse.
Trying to analyse every rejection
Some rejections have lessons. Most don't. Spending 20 minutes analysing why someone who was never going to buy didn't buy is a waste of time.
Comparing yourself to that one rep who seems unbothered
You don't know what's going on in their head. Even the most unflappable rep feels it sometimes. They've just learned to hide it.
The Long View
Here's something that took me years to learn:
The reps who have the healthiest relationship with rejection aren't the ones who don't care. They're the ones who care about the right things.
They care about getting better. They care about helping prospects who are a good fit. They care about their overall performance.
They don't care about any individual call that much. Because they know there will be thousands more.
That prospect who yelled at me in my first month of sales? I couldn't tell you his name now. I can barely remember the call. But at the time, it felt like the biggest deal in the world.
Zoom out. The bad calls fade. The skills you're building don't.
A Practical Exercise
Next time you have a particularly bad rejection, try this:
- Set a timer for 5 minutes
- Feel whatever you feel - frustration, embarrassment, anger
- Write down one thing you could have done differently (or "nothing - bad luck")
- When the timer goes off, make the next call
This gives you permission to feel the rejection without letting it take over your day. Five minutes is enough. Then back to work.
The Truth About Resilience
Resilience isn't not feeling the pain. It's feeling the pain and making the next call anyway.
Some days that's easy. Some days it takes everything you have.
But the reps who stay in sales long-term, who build careers and make real money - they're not the ones who never got knocked down. They're the ones who got back up.
Every single time.
A strong opener can reduce rejection in the first place. But even the best techniques won't eliminate rejection entirely. The goal is progress, not perfection.